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Dear Mean Girls

1 May 2017 | 6 Comments

Hello Lovelies,

I have been M.I.A for a bit and I thought I would tell you why. After all this is my online journal and it’s a great space to vent. I became a bit of a ticking time bomb and so I decided to take a step back, gather my thoughts before I went K-BOOM! I don’t want my blog to become a space of bitching and so this will be the first and very last time I post about something like this. A lot of people have this idea that beauty and fashion blogging is such a glamorous thing. For the most part – it is, playing with new products, experimenting with fashion trends, sharing it with you guys – that’s all fun. However there is a side to blogging that’s not so fabulous. It’s a side that only recently has got me super annoyed. It’s a side that is sad, at times nasty and extremely competitive. This side to blogging has put me off and hence the little break. Before I get into this I want to clear something up, I am in no way an angel. My claws do come out every now and then but with reason. I bring them out when I feel like I need to protect myself. With that being said, let’s get into the ugly truth…

I left High School a few years ago and when I walked out of those gates, I walked away from the drama. The constant bitchiness (BTW, I went to an all girls school). The competitiveness, basically I left behind all the bullshit – well at least I thought I did. However, girls will be girls and it seems like this never goes away. The amount of bitchiness that I’ve seen on social media the past few weeks is nothing short of disgusting. I don’t know if the stars aligned and put 80% of woman on the same cycle because WOW! Bloggers having a little go at other bloggers. Little petty comments here and there. It’s cringe worthy. And it needs to stop. Do you want to know why men are more successful with things in life than woman? It’s because they don’t care much for petty shit. Females are female’s number one enemy. Instead of encouraging and empowering each other we are sitting behind our smalls screens, being keyboard warriors and trying to whip up ways to out do each other or bring each other down. Are we not better than this? Can we not come together to inspire and motivate each other? What do you possibly gain from bringing someone else down? Why can we not all just be nice to one another and help each other out? It’s mind boggling. This doesn’t just apply to bloggers and I am in no way attacking any specific person, this is targeted at every girl out there. In the words of Queen B…”Who run the world? Girls.” Well the only way we are going to run this world, is if we put our claws away, come together and run this mother effer. I’m not saying we all have to be BFF4EAEAEAE and sit around a fire holding hands and singing Kum Bah Yah. Personalities clash, not everyone is going to be your glass of champagne. That’s fine but hold your tongue and just don’t be rude.

We also need to become more approachable. Look I know I suffer from RBF syndrome. I suffer real bad. You have no idea how many times I get asked why I don’t smile? Why do I always look so serious in my pictures? Am I OK? LAAAAAAWD – just staaaaaaaaap! It…is…just…my face, this is what my mama gave me and I can’t change it. I promise that I am SUPER friendly and I am SUPER happy. Also, it helps keep the wrinkles away. And now I’m side tracking. We need to be friendlier. We need to approach that girl at an event/party that looks lost and intimidated and start a random conversation (BTW that girl is me… LOL). Making each other feel more welcome can do a lot of good. Flash a smile to a random (I need to learn to do that) it really won’t hurt anybody. I have experienced first hand what it’s like to be ignored at an event by someone that you have met on countless occasions, and when I say ignored, I mean they couldn’t even turn to say hello. They just casually chatted away to the person I was having a conversation with and then walked away. MEOW! I still ask myself the question… what did they gain from doing that?! Is it because they are “bigger” than me in the blogging world? Was is just my face? I haven’t had sleepless nights over this nor did I cry myself to sleep but it just puzzles me, what goes through a persons mind? If this ever happens to you or someone is ever extremely rude to you (here my claws come out) don’t take offense to it, take it with a pinch of salt. The individual clearly has some issues of their own that they are fighting.

And last but certainly not least… we need to stop copying each other. I think this was the final straw for me. I put a lot of time and effort into my posts and my videos. For someone to just come along and claim my idea for themselves is just wrrroooonnngggg. I mean shame on you! It’s really hard to be original in an “industry” that is so saturated. There is nothing wrong with getting inspired by what someone else has done or hopping onto the trend train but try tweek it so that it’s you. Personalize it. Make it your own. Just stay true to yourself.

I am going to end this rant in the most cliche way ever… with a quote…

“Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful woman who have her back.”

Onto the brighter side of things, Autumn is upon us in the Southern Hemisphere and I am actually excited. I am so excited for oversized knitwear, coats, cute beanies and scarves. The days are still pretty warm but as the sun fades that chilly air nips you. I seriously can’t believe that we are in May already, where has 2017 gone? May is my birth month and I love nothing more than celebrating life. I started by spoiling myself with the gorgeous oversized grey knitted jersey from Cotton On along with this black pair of tights that have a slight ribbed detail on them. I paired the two with my favorite Call It Spring booties, that I got for my birthday last year. For accessories I threw on some rings, my Blue Goldstone Crystal necklace from Romeo Foxtrot and the new addition to my shades collection, these mirrored aviators from Third Eye Wear!

Always remember to stay fabulous and be nice to people.

xoxo

 

Dee


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Comments

Bianca Balutto says:

You basically put all my feelings and thoughts into this post I have being experiencing the exact same thing! I dont get why girls have to be so bitchy and jealous after all we all doing what we love, sharing our thoughts on fashion, makeup and beauty products. I didnt realize that blogging was so competitive until I started blogging suddenly the bloggers that I looked up to and who inspired me to blog turned out to be the worst.. they have been doing it for years but feel intimated by someone thats new and would like to get advice from them, I dont get it?? This one blogger who I was a fan of turned out to be such a b**** we spoke once at an event and she seemed so nice and then when I seen her at other events she pretended to not even know me her and her blogger friends are exactly like the girls from mean girls and I honestly think that she has being trying to sabotage my blog with pr companies that she has been working with so that they no longer work with me. All this ugliness some times puts me off blogging and I find that I have to keep reminding myself why im actually doing this its not for them its for ME its something that I enjoy doing. I wish these girls could grow up and stop acting like we are in high school.

Admin says:

I’m glad that you could relate to this and know that you are not alone. The ugliness definitely put me off blogging for a bit but at the end of the day I’m doing this for myself, for my pleasure and for the people that like to read my stuff. The reality is what it is and I highly doubt my post will change anything, maybe make some people aware of their actions, other than that you just have to look the other way and do you boo! <3 Thank you so much for reading Bianca! xxx

Zaakira Moola says:

I remember when I met you at the L’oreal event and you were the friendliest person ever! ❀ That’s what makes blogging worth it for me; meeting new people. I’m so glad I was introduced to your lovely blog and your YouTube. That being said you make some really good points about blogging and I say this because I was that bitchy person a few years back and that attitude could have lost me everything I worked for and loved. We all have things we want and things we want to achieve but it’s possible to get them without hurting or stepping on someone else. Believe me, I know πŸ˜‰

xo

Admin says:

That was my first event alone and my anxiety was through the roof but I remember seeing you and telling myself to man-up and go make friends. Thank you so much for your kind words. It was such a pleasure meeting you. And thank you for your honesty. You are beyond lovely! BTW… your shoes are just everything! xxx

Mimi says:

You are my favourite blogger and my inspiration! Keep doing what you are because its powerful! Feminism isnt only about equality among men… its about respecting and empowering other woman around us… Encouraging them to do the same.. we are often our own worst enemies and our harshest critics… we dont need bullies to add to it… love you xoxo

Admin says:

Ah you are just the best! I couldn’t agree with you more. Thank you Hun. Sending you lots of love and gentle hugs <3 Love ya!

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