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Decluttering my Mind

3 April 2018 | No Comments

That long weekend was truly needed. I was able to recharge my batteries, gather my thoughts, work on some editing and most importantly relax. On Saturday, S and I were both feeling rather under the weather and we did absolutely nothing. We spent the whole day watching series, eating and recharging – it was marvelous. Other than that I did come to a very interesting realization, I have a real problem with letting go of stuff. I’m not talking about the “I-had-a-fight-with-my-best-friend-and-now-I’m-going-to-hold-a-grudge-for-8-months” kind of letting go. The silly kind, like deleting images off my phone and iMac being one.  S moaned at me this weekend because my iMac’s memory was extremely full and that I needed to get rid of stuff. I almost had a heart attack, my anxiety flew threw the roof, I was having heart palpitations. How dare you ask me to delete that picture I took of Chloé from when she was a puppy back in 2016!!! I may need that picture for a throwback or I might suffer a head injury, losing all memory of my life and that could be the image to bring everything back. It was an extremely painful task, and I still laughed to myself because I realized how ridiculous I was being but I couldn’t help it.  Surely I can’t be alone in this? There has to be someone else out their that feels the same?

I know that there is definitely a couple of people out there that have an issue with getting rid of clothing! That “what if” question always pops up when I’m trying to declutter my closet. For example I have a white dress with sequins on the sleeves from when I was in high school, I haven’t worn that dress since (in fact I’m not even sure I wore it then either) but I refuse to get rid of it because WHAT IF I get invited to a dress up party and I can wear it then. Beyond ridiculous I know!  S is a minimalist so clutter is a BIG no for him. I on the other hand, I’m a hot mess. I once found a meme that perfectly described me: “I’m a perfectionist and a procrastinator. I want to declutter my life and make it perfect…. but tomorrow.” Clutter is more than just delayed decisions, it’s attachment issues. Yoh! I just Dr Philed myself! Bam! Why I am attached? Well, I’m still trying to figure that one out. The only answer I have is quite depro… not sure if I should even share it. Stuff it. I think it may come from a fear of memory loss. I have hashimotos disease and the older you get the more prone you are to getting dementia/Alzheimer (physical changes to the brain causing forgetfulness). And as much as I would love to think that I have an Allie/Noah situation going on, where S will write me a Notebook reminding me of our life and love, I have to be realistic. My worst enemy is my memory. So photos to me are extremely important. I think I just Dr Phil-ed and Oprah-ed myself.

I realize that this fear is unhealthy and I can’t actually carry on like this. I de-cluttered my computers memory quite a bit, by quite a bit, I mean, yes I did delete a lot but I also saved a bit on my external hard drive. BABY STEPS, don’t judge. I went from 200 odd photos of Chloe and Kai to about 20ish. That my friend, is called progress. Let’s be honest, I will never be a minimalist. It just isn’t my destiny but I do need to learn to control what I keep and don’t keep. I need to declutter my mind, as my cluttered thoughts are what causes my anxiety and craziness. I have to accept life as it is, and learn to let go of things that aren’t adding value to my life right now. Although a seriously cute picture of my puppy could turn a future bad day into a good one. DAMMIT! No. Rub those ears baby girl and sing it with me… let it go… let it go… Turn away and slam that door. I need to learn to inhale positive vibes and exhale fear and negativity. I think that focusing your energy on the here and now is the only way to really live, to move forward in life and make progress. Focusing too much on the past and future can cripple you completely. Letting fear decided how your future will turn out, only ends in disappointment. So I say, give fear the middle finger and replace it with fun.

All this preaching and all thanks to me not wanting to delete some damn pictures. Sigh. I guess inspiration hits us at the strangest of times. How do you declutter your life and mind? I’d love some ideas on how I can improve on my current situation.

Speaking about letting go, I think Summer is having a hard time letting go of the fact that it’s her time to go. The weather has been super weird lately, it should be Autumn here in South Africa, so there should be a chill in the air but by afternoon its real hot. I LOVE SUMMER, but I prefer winter fashion more. I hate the cold but I’ll deal if it means I can look cute. This Autumn/Winter I really want to up my fashion game. Challenge myself to trying on new things. I love layering, last year I managed to get a little creative and this year I plan to take that even further. For now though, I’m playing it safe. I absolutely adore this demin jacket from Tom Tailor. The worn out, slightly ripped look is everything. I paired it with a simple black tee, lately I love tucking in my tee into my jeans – I feel as if it makes it a little more fashionable and put together. Adding a statement belt give it that extra twam that it needs. My favourite ripped jeans from H&M and a pair of booties. Simple, casual with a bit of fashion. Well at least I think so.

Wishing you a fabulous week ahead. My final words of advice “Party like Frank, Fight like Fiona, Be a Genius like Lip, Love like Kev and V, Hustle like Carl and don’t do anything like Debbie – unless you really want to ruin your life.” {Shameless Reference}

xoxo

Dee


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