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Quarter Life Crisis

15 January 2018 | 2 Comments

If someone had to ask me to describe my life right now in one sentence, it would probably go a little something like this – “This is seriously not where I expected to be.” And that’s life I guess. It’s very seldom that it goes the way you expected it to. To be honest I thought by now I would be married, I would have traveled a hell of a lot more, I would slowly be preparing to have a baby and I would be doing something I am super passionate about. Out of those four things, one is slightly getting there. The reason why all these thoughts started brewing in my head is because I’m 28 this year! ALMOST 30, I’m no spring chicken anymore and I’m not going to lie, I am definitely in a mild panic about it. I keep trying to remind myself that there is a reason for everything and maybe things haven’t gone as I thought they would because there is something greater coming (Sweet baby Jesus, I hope so). I feel that a part of me might be getting impatient or maybe I’m not doing enough to make things happen (which is the realistic option) or maybe I’m just going bat-shit crazy. Just like most woman I tend to over analyse everything and it’s strictly because I can’t stand to be disappointed, I hate not being prepared for what’s to come however I am well aware that I can’t control everything.

I’ve decided to diagnose myself, I am officially going through a quarter life crisis. I’ve heard the term many a times but I didn’t actually think it was a thing but here I am. Miss Dee, potentially dying of a quarter life crisis. I know, first world problems. I’m beating myself up over phantom accomplishments, it’s silly but for some reason it’s genuinely upsetting me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m not happy, I have a wonderful man, two gorgeous fur babies, a lovely home but a part of me is clinging onto my 18 year old self’s idea of life goals. I’m really hoping that at this point someone out there is reading this blog post and thinking “YES! That’s exactly how I feel.” or “ah baby girl, I felt that same but they call it thriving thirties for a reason.” AND I’M REALLY HOPING that if you feel that way, you will let me know in the comments so that I don’t feel alone and miserable {starts wailing}. I think we all reach a point where we think to ourselves there has to be more to it. I’m destined for something greater and I guess it all comes down to what we plan to do with that thought. You can either entertain the thought for a second or two, shrug your shoulders and carry on with life, then have another boohoo my life sucks moment in a few months OR you can chase that thought and see where that thought takes you.

I really feel like 2018 is my year, what ever greatness life has planned for me, that it will happen. I’ve changed my mindset, although this quarter life crisis ain’t helping for shit. The number 8 has always been my lucky number, so it could just be a coincidence but we are in 2018 and I’m turning 28, this has me feeling hopeful. HOWEVER if it’s another botched year then on the 31 December 2018, you will find me drowning myself in a bath filled with Moet Nectar, I will then proceed to purchase a one way ticket to Timbuktu and you will never hear from me ever again. Drams I know but that’s just my thought processes at the moment.

I feel as though my outfit says a lot about the state of my emotions at the moment. The nude symbolizes hope and better days where the black screams “someone help me, I’m getting old and I don’t know where my life is headed.” I have had this tulle skirt from Forever New for ages, I purchased it online and when I tried it on I hated the way it looked on me, which broke my heart because I adore tulle skirts. I felt as if my hips looked larger than life and it made my body look short and frumpy, I refused to give up and I’m just making the skirt work. It makes me feel like a princess and that is all that matters.

 

I know that 80% of what I am stressing over right now is not going to matter in a month or even a year but right now it kind of matters. Some people will think I’m just being a total drama queen but I can’t help the way I feel. The anxiety I have felt about this the past two days is ridiculous, I’m struggling to fall asleep at night. I took a light hearted approach to this blog post because that’s my way of dealing with it I guess. All I can do is keep telling myself that I need to be the energy that I want to attract. I can’t let my age define me or where I am in my life. Everyone’s journey is different, and even though it may not be turning out the way I wanted, I need to embrace it and make the best of it.

I genuinely hope that this post helps someone else, just knowing that you aren’t alone in your crazy thoughts, makes the world of difference.

Never give up on the thought that good things are coming.

xoxo

Dee


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Comments

Chevon says:

Dee, the way you feel now, multiply that by a million. That’s how I feel now cause I’m actually turning 30 this year! I am always excited for my birthday but this year I am absolutely dreading it😢 when you’re younger, you always have these dreams and goals that you see yourself accomplishing, but the time goes by so quick and you spend most of your life just working that you barely have time to make these dreams come true. But a good friend of mine told me recently (when I was complaining about not being anywhere in life) that what we have done or what we do have in our lives, mustn’t be taken for granted as many other people haven’t even done or gotten what we have. So yes you are not going crazy on your own, most of us feel this way. Hope this makes you feel better😚

Dee says:

Thank you so much for this hun, it’s exactly what I needed to hear! It’s nice to know that you aren’t alone, and that people are going through the same struggles.

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