Ever reach a point where you feel like your entire brain is going to explode because you have SO MUCH EFFING shit going on in it. You have absolutely no idea how to compartmentalize everything, even though you are an organized person? You start over analyzing every small detail of your life? You stop getting excited over things you should be excited about because the little voice in your head is feeding you negative thoughts? Well that’s been me lately. You may call me Madam Overthink-A-Lot. My anxiety journey started about two years ago. I always remember hearing girls bring up how anxious they were, and to be honest I use to roll my eyes and then immediately think of the Kardashian’s because they dropped the word “anxiety” like it was going out of fashion. “Houston, we have a drama queen over here.”
Then life decided to stick it to me and slap me with the anxiety stick. I guess you never really know what someone is going through until you are in their shoes, sis on me for judging back then. Although I do blame that on the fact that I wasn’t educated enough on the subject, again though, my fault. I’m about 70% sure I know what triggered my anxiety, the other 30% is still a grey area but it’s here now and I have to figure out a way to control it because it’s reached a point where it’s turning my mind into a dark and ugly place. I have started questioning my ability and my worth and that’s just not okay. There are days where I have felt alone, days where I felt like nobody could possibly understand what I am/was going through. That is total BS of course, because trust me when I say there are so many people fighting the same fight. A few weeks ago, I did an InstaStory asking people how they deal with their anxiety and what I can do to control mine, the response I got was overwhelming. It was so good to know that I wasn’t alone. The sole purpose of this post is to shed some light on anxiety. What is anxiety?
“A mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one’s daily activities.”
That is the proper term for it. My term for it is, a little monster with an extremely loud voice that sits inside your head making ridiculous situations and stories out of nothing, which ultimately you believe because this little monster is all you. That’s the messed up part of it all, we should be in total control over our emotions and thoughts but for some reason when that little bugger comes around, it almost feels impossible. The trick with anxiety is to try handle it as it starts lingering, don’t pull a Dee and think to yourself “it’s stupid, let it go” because you don’t let it go and that small stupid issue becomes a big stupid issue in your mind. It begins to consume you and you will reach a point where you burn out, a point I feel like I am quickly reaching. I feel exhausted, physically and emotionally and it’s my own fault. If you feel as though you have reached a point where you are in too deep, the first thing you need to do is try and figure out what may be triggering it, it’s probably the hardest part of it all. Once you figure that out, you now need to figure out how to control it. Finding something that will help you deal with whatever is making you feel this way. I’m quite an impatient person, and tend to want a solution straight away but what I have quickly learned is that this is a long and bumpy journey that you have to take with yourself. It’s scary and it should be. It’s a process that will teach you more about yourself than you actually realize. If you are able to see a therapist about it then I would do it, talking to someone that’s more educated on the topic could possibly be the best solution. Find something to do on a daily basis, that will help you switch off for a bit. This is a list of things I got sent and maybe one of these will appeal to you:
Adult Coloring Book
Going to a coffee shop and reading
Sometimes, shutting off for a bit can be the best thing you do for yourself. I have yet to try anything from the list myself, for some reason, I have just allowed myself to spiral. Getting away this past weekend really helped me clear my mind, it put a lot of things into perspective and helped me figure out what triggered my anxiety recently.
I want you to remember that in situation where you feel like you are going to fall apart… BREATHE! Take a few deep breathes and repeat this to yourself – I will be OK. Everything will be OK because I am bigger and stronger than I think I am.
“Remember that you have been in this place before. You have been this uncomfortable, this anxious, this scared and you have survived it. Breathe and know you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They are painful and deliberating but you can sit with them and they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you will look back on this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.” – Daniell Koepke.
If you are reading this post and don’t suffer from anxiety but you have heard your friends or family mention that they struggle, don’t roll your eyes. Don’t over look it. In that moment, your support means more to them than you actually realize. Appearances can be very misleading, just because someone is smiling on the outside and they seem like they have their shit together, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t drowning in a pool of doubt and self loathing.
If you are reading this post and are suffering from anxiety then know that you are not alone. That you are worthy. You are an incredible human and you will make it through this. You have to stop being so hard on yourself, give credit to yourself where credit is due. Believe in yourself and acknowledge your self worth. Keep reminding yourself that you are in total control of your life and that you will be damned if some little voice takes over. You will have your good days and your bad days, it’s life, don’t let those bad days control you. Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. Self love is a huge step to beating anxiety at its own game. Learning to be happy with who you are is so important, the more you fall in love with yourself, the less bullshit you will tolerate. Everything you need, in order to be the best version of yourself is already in you, don’t ever doubt that.
More awareness needs to be spread about anxiety, it’s the only way others will understand that you are not being a drama queen, you are struggling and you need support.
This month of love I encourage you to share your story, as scary as it may seem. Your story could help someone else in the world get through their bad day. Share the love, Share your story because Self Love is what we need more of in this world. #SelfLoveSa
Leave a Comment